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  • Louise Clover

A Noisy Place


A Quiet Place. Even if you haven’t seen this film, I’m sure you’ll know that central to the plot is the premise that the characters must remain silent. Not a hiccup, a pin drop, or a fart – otherwise they’ll get eaten. And eaten by something last seen in the kitchen in Jurassic Park.


However, its sequel, A Quiet Place II, does feature dialogue, and more monsters; although we don’t see quite so much of director John Krasinski’s character - but I won’t be a spoilsport by telling you why. Emily Blunt is, as always, a joy to watch, as is Cillian Murphy, although he is so method, at times, I could barely make out what he’s saying.


Which brings me back to the original film, A Quiet Place (I), which I thought was good – but I have no way of saying how brilliant it was, because my ears were bleeding.


Okay, we know that any blabbing in this story is tantamount to a death sentence, so, as an audience member, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to expect that we would adhere to the same quiet discipline.


Would it? Ah, but no. You see, what people need to do apparently when they go to the cinema, (and even a discerning arty-indie one, like the one that I was sat in) is FUCKING EAT. As for much of the film, the opening is silent. It’s there to set the story, the tone and the tension. But when you’ve got an infinite amount of popcorn being munched like cud to the right of you, and then several packets of cellophane-wrapped sandwiches opened and gorged to your left, while in front is the endless deafening crunch of giant packets of Marks and Spencer’s smoked salmon, cream cheese & champagne crisps, all of Emily Blunt’s noiseless pleading eyes and John Krasinski’s silent strength to protect his family may as well be replaced by fog horns. Actually, for all the noise we were making, I’m surprised that the entire cinema audience hadn’t been consumed by the Abbott family’s monsters within two minutes of the film starting. In fact, it was a pity we weren’t, we might have acted as a decoy for the poor sods. So. All I am saying is. However, scary you like your film, if you decide to sit next to me in a picture house and eat a packet of Monster Munch, please don’t be surprised if you get an actual monster’s reprisal.


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